I have grown up always working. I worked for my father who owned his own construction business. My job was to stain, varnish trim work, doors, windows cabinets etc. I also did a LOT of painting walls and even roofing, which was NOT my favorite thing to do. I would have shingle debris in my skin for days afterwards. Fast forward.... when I got married my husband wanted me to work. I always thought I would. We didn't think about the future and children coming into the picture very seriously. In fact I think the counseling we got should have been a lot better before we did marry.
I had always worked in banking and even thought I would be there until my dying days, but after we adopted our first son, I realized I needed a serious change. So I changed jobs for more money. I had a great job. I loved it and loved the people I worked for. Unfortunately the turn of the real estate market dived and I lost my job. My first time ever being told that I was being let go. We were really nervous about me loosing my job, but at that time I wasn't too worried. For about 6 months before loosing my job I had a desire in me start growing to stay at home. Six months before that I had lost a baby and it had devastated me. I really believe God stepped in at that time and said, "enough is enough" and He took my job from me.
It took me a couple months of really realizing it and working in my husband's heart, but after awhile we both realize that this is where I needed to be. In my home taking care of my family.
So back to the question, "How did you make it work?"
Well this will be lengthy, but if you are serious about it maybe this can help someone else.
Put into writing what your Income and expenses are on one income. This will help keep perspective in what is important to have and what debts/bills can be eliminated. You will be surprised how much child care and gas expense and eating out expenses can eat up what you make.
Areas to save in:
1. Food-including eating out
A. We cut out eating out at the beginning except on payday. We would go out and celebrate 1 time a month.
B. Ask for gift cards at Christmas time for getting meat at the locker or restaurants. Every little bit helps.
C. I shop at Aldi’s for some things. I am finding I like most of their stuff, but I don’t buy meat or produce there. Their chips are so cheap and I prefer them to some of the name brands you get at the other stores. You just have to experiment and find what things you like.
D. I also prepare a monthly menu once a month, complete with my grocery list. It helps me save time week to week trying to prepare things and keeps me out of the store more then I should and picking up unnecessary items.
E. Stock up on items that you use a lot of when they go on sale: frozen veggies, canned goods, cereals, flour and sugar etc….
F. I found a web-site recently that I need to look at more closely regarding grocery shopping and saving money at http://cheapcooking.com/articles/family-menu-planning.html
While I plan my meals, I haven’t been great at planning cheaper but filling meals.
G. Make more of your foods from scratch. This will help cut down on what you buy in boxes at the store and it can be healthier too.
H. Look at your grocery bill and see what “extras” you are buying that you can live without. {Aldi’s has great alternative snacks that will save you $}
I. Baby Food: I started making my own baby food. Your vegetables you will save a lot on. I buy fresh produce when possible, but on the green beans and peas I just do frozen when it is on sale. Buying fruit and saving is a little more challenging, but if you watch the sales on fruit usually anything around .70 cents to maybe $1/lb you will save money on. I found this web-site that tells you how to prepare the different foods. http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com I usually just use my blender and ice cube trays to make what I need for several weeks and freeze them. It’s good up to 30 days frozen.
2. Clothing:
A. I rarely buy anything full priced. I wait for Kohl’s 30% off coupon and then shop the discount racks. Or I will shop JC Penny’s when they send out a $10 coupon, I take the time to go buy something for “me” then. I sometime miss just being able to just go shopping for me, but I try to be satisfied with what I have.
B. Garage sales are great for gently used baby/toddler clothes
C. Sometimes you can find things at Goodwill, but I don’t often shop/get there.
D. Craigslist is great for finding clothes or baby items you need.
3. House expenses-
A. Adjust your thermostat in the winter and summer. You can save big time on those by adjusting them 4-6 degrees either way. Dress accordingly.
B. Budget billing is helpful. You know every month what you will be paying. I make it a game each year to see if I can save money and get a credit at the end of the year.
C. Make my own laundry soap. It can save you a lot of money in the long run. I just need to check and see if it is safe for sensitive skin. http://www.duggarfamily.com/recipes.html
4. Gas/Car Expense
A. Car pooling is great if you know someone who can
B. Gas efficient cars etc…
C. Group errands together so that you don’t have to get out all the time.
D. Find someone who knows how to work on cars who won’t charge you a lot to help out.
1. Pray about it-God has provided things for us in ways we never thought about. Sometimes it was through someone giving us a bag of gently used clothes, a gift card to eat out or clothes that came from relatives at Christmas and Birthday times.2. Sell newer car and get a reliable, older car. Find someone who is knowledgable about that and can help you find anything you are looking for. I used to be scared about high mileage cars, but look at it as “what kind of motor does it have and what its performance record?” Many cars will run in the 100,000s with no major engine problems. You may have minor things to replace, but if you have a car that is paid off those expenses will be minimal. Plus there are people around that can help work on cars. My husband knows how to do a few things and has helped people out before.
3. Work to eliminate debt:
credit cards, car payments, memberships to magazines or gyms etc….-
Go to the Library and check out books and movies for free.
Eliminating debt will help free up your life big time!
Consolidate your debt if you can. Pay off higher interest rate debt first and then add that payment amount to the next debt.
Sometimes credit card companies can offer a low rate for a period of time. Make sure and watch for balance transfer fees, but sometimes combining credit card debt will make it easier to pay it off. Just make sure you can pay it off before the rate goes up.
Take all credit cards out of the wallet so the temptation to purchase won’t get you. It’s too easy to buy gas or stop at the store and then before you know it, your small purchases throughout the month is bigger than anticipated. We do however take one with us when traveling in case of emergencies.
4. Refinance your house to a lower fixed rate-
Make sure your new house payment will not eat up more than 30% of your future budget. Rates are really low right now for a 30 year fixed rate and that will help you get a little more house. NEVER get an adjustable rate loan. In 5-7 years your rate could sky rocket and then you could be in a big bind with a huge payment and not be able to afford it. Fixed rates are the best.
5.Evaluate your bills.
Is this bill necessary or a want? Do you need cable? Do you need extra features on your cell phone? What costs can be cut out of your grocery bill. Can you shop at discount stores?
6. How often do you eat out? Always send your husband's lunch to work, but feel free to treat yourself once in awhile. It’s hard not feeling like you are in prison and can’t go out and do anything once in awhile! Make a special night out for the family to celebrate once a month.
7. Watch it closely on spending cash, give yourself a weekly allowance. Allot a certain dollar amount each week and take that amount out in cash each pay period. Do not keep future weekly allotments in your wallet. Sometimes people have success doing this for grocery shopping. Spend only what you have.
8. Do you have unnecessary child care expenses?
9. Supplement your income
A. Watch 1-2 kids in your home. You can earn about 100-125 per kid a week if they are there 5 days a week, {$20-$25 a day per kid}
B. Clean someone’s home or business for them
C. Making things and selling them.
10. Sometimes we had to sell something we had in order to meet a need.
One of the things I have had to remind myself over and over again that this is only a season in our life. It’s been hard at times to be “content” with cutting back, but I can honestly say we have never been happier with what we have and where we are in life. There will always be another season where I can go do the things I want. For us we just don’t want to miss out on our children’s life.
I think the most important thing is this. Be content with what you have. It is so hard to do when you see others buying things all the time for their kids, but children really do not need to have everything. It will only make them spoiled and unthankful for what they do have.
Practice Philipians 4:11, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, [therewith] to be content."
Hebrews 13:5, "[Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee."
So even now, when I see someone who is young and starting out, I tell them this:
Make sure that you learn to live on one income. You never know when something may happen. Your spouse could lose his job, you could get pregnant and be on bed rest, or someone could die. We don't know what the future holds so be smart about how you live now. It can change in an instant. Don't get caught up in having all the latest gadgets, credit card debt, a large house payment with a large home. Be content because one day God may give you that precious baby and you may not what to leave the home to go back to work.
What will you do then if you have a mountain of debt and no way out?
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