One would think we would be used to this by now. I got out of a meeting today and saw that my husband had called and left a message. I wasn't for sure what it meant but I called him back half hoping he would have good news for me.
We had put our profile out there earlier this week for a little girl. We waited not for sure when we would hear if it had been picked or not. Part of me wasn't excited about the situation, but after researching somethings we decided there wasn't a big flag that we shouldn't put our name in for it. The other part of me had hopes knowing God knows the right situation for us and if this was his will we would do it.
I got off the phone with Patrick and my heart sank. It's hard not to when you hope for the best. I heard myself tell him that it wasn't the right one and God knows what is best. But that doesn't take the sadness away when you feel like you weren't good enough. yes I know it isn't that. It would be nice to see our dreams and hopes come true. I have to realize we may not get a girl. Ever. That is what makes me sad. I know I would be happy with a boy, but knowing this is our last chance makes it harder.
Now where is my Pepsi, a nice big piece of warm chocolate cake with a scoop of ice cream, and a friend to share it with? I could certainly use it right now.