Motivate Me Monday

II Timothy 1:12,

"For the which cause I also suffer these things:

nevertheless I am not ashamed:

for I know whom I have believed,

and am persuaded that he is able to keep

that which I have committed unto him against that day."

The Saul Controlling Spirit--Check-List Continued

Continuation of The Controlling Spirit in the Pray Portions by Sylvia Gunter.

"16.    He cannot affirm others and will dishonor them publicly.

Saul dishonored his own son publicly and even tried to spear him (20:33).  Sauls throw verbal spears.  They mock others publicly.  Saul’s audacity in daring to touch the Lord’s anointed David is met by David’s unwillingness to take Saul’s life even when he easily could have, and when David’s men wanted to and would have, if David had not prevented them.  Saul was twice delivered into David’s hands, and David did not touch him (24:17, 26:17).  Saul even admits that he has dealt wickedly with David, but he is driven and under compulsion to get David out of the way.  He is jealous and by this time insane.

17.    He manipulates by gifts, favors, bribery, and guilt.

Saul is trying to keep the kingdom after God has taken His hand off him, so he resorted to flesh, soul power, manipulation, and the schemes of man (22:7-8).

18.    He is tremendously deceived and cannot perceive things correctly.

This is an important point.  The perceptions of a Saul are off.  It is like their lens needs focusing.  They are in spiritual darkness and don’t know it.  Saul accused Jonathan of stirring up David to ambush him (22:8, 13).  Who wants to ambush whom?  Yet Saul accused David of conspiracy, lying in wait, and rebellion.  This is not a logical or intellectual problem.  Saul could not be reasoned out of this.  He was deluded and got progressively worse (23:14).  Finally he could not hear God’s voice, so he resorted to a medium (28:6 and following).  Many Sauls get involved in the occult, go to psychics, or read horoscopes, because they cannot hear God for themselves.  If they are religious, they run from prophet to prophet asking them, “Do you have a word from God for me?”    The ministry of prophets is honorable, but is this not like charismatic fortune telling?  Why can’t you get a word from God for yourself?

19.    He hears only what he wants to hear.

Saul listened to people who lied, rather than those who told him the truth.  David confronted him on this (24:9), and Samuel, Jonathan, and the priest Ahimilech (all godly men) spoke the truth to him, but Saul would not listen, because eh did not want to hear it.  Saul still believed what he wanted to believe.  There is at least one henchman, in this case Abner, feeding the conspiracy (25:5), so they can keep on doing what they have their mind made up to do.

Notice that David spared his life (24:9), and Saul appeared remorseful (24:17).  But he proved that he was unrepentant when he continued to pursue David.  David again spared his life (26:9), and again Saul appeared remorseful and blessed David (26:21).  But he had no true change of heart.

20.   He is perfectionistic, demanding, and judgmental. 

He cannot receive love and therefore cannot give it.  His worth and identity are tied up in roles and performance.  He is very image conscious.  How he is perceived is more important than who he is.  He sets impossible standards.  He cannot delegate, because it won’t be done “right” (that is, his way).  He is very hard on himself, and this will incline him to depression.

There is the picture.  Now what?  Why would God put David in the household of a Saul for fourteen years?  To take the Saul out of David.  Why would he put you under a controller?  For the same reason.

Distance or avoidance are not permanent solutions to dealing with Saul.  How long should you stay around a controlling spirit?  Until God delivers you from it.  Until God takes the Saul out of you.  Until you don’t want to be that kind of person.  Until you have a passionate desire to totally surrender to God in relationships and give up all control.  Until you are humbled and free from judging or reacting to such a person.  Until you want to be a David-hearted leader.  Make no mistake—God is looking for the Saul in you.  The greatest temptation when you are being “as-Saul-ted” is to pull the spear out of the wall and throw it back.  If you do, you will be every bit as much a Saul as your Saul.

*He honored God’s anointing, even when Saul was not acting worthily.

*He spared Saul’s life because of mercy and meekness, while Saul tried to kill him.

*He let God vindicate him and deal with Saul."

My thoughts:  The one thing that jumped out to me in this last section of the check-list is how one sets impossible standards.  I find that I at times expect way to much out of my young children and I forget their age and that they too are learning.  I really have to work on that.  I expect them to know something they have never been exposed to or learned.  I also have to realize that they don't have to be a perfectionist like I was taught.  Do it right the first time mentality...  I think that is great, but when dealing with children you have to know they may not do it right the first time.

I remember working with my dad one night as he was trying to get a well installed by our garden.  He had found water there and was trying to put pipes together to run it.  He asked me to run get an elbow.  I had no clue what an elbow was.  I was probably only 8, 9, or 10.  All I knew was I needed to run and get it.  So run I did to his truck.  I threw open the door and searched frantically for anything that looked like an elbow.  Something that as bent.  I found it, breathed a sigh of relief and ran back to my dad hoping I did the right thing but not for sure.  Luckily it was the right thing.

I think about that story often and try to remember it as a lesson when teaching my own kids something.  I can't expect them just to know it and me not put any time or effort into it with them.  I have to plan on me doing nothing so I don't get distracted from teaching them and then getting annoyed if they dont' get it right.  I find if I take the time, they enjoy it much more. 

Taking time with them to teach them shows them my love.  As my son tells me, "I want to work all day and not play!"  I just smile and think, "yeah right."  I'm glad he enjoyed washing windows with me, even if it was punishment for whining and complaining about something else.....

Check-List Continued-The Saul Controlling Spirit

Continuation of The Controlling Spirit in the Pray Portions by Sylvia Gunter.

"11.  He will have outburst of rage that are deadly.

Saul is known in the Bible as the spear-thrower (18:11, 19:10).  This anger was reserved for those closest to him in his household.  This is the first of numerous times that Saul attacks David and tries to kill him.  Sauls speak words of failure and condemnation to those closest to him.  Sauls are particularly attracted to the psalmist, because the music of worship soothes their spirits, and at the same time they are afraid of the Lord in the psalmist, afraid of his or her success, and afraid of how other people love them (18:12, 15, 16).  Sauls will strongly desire to take out those whom he perceives to be a threat to his position or his kingdom.  When that did not work, Saul sent David away.  That reveals the other of the tactics of Saul: the silent treatment, cold shoulder, withdrawal, or putting up walls.

12.   He cannot be trusted.

Saul was a liar, deceiver, and manipulator.  He had no integrity and did not keep promises.  He could not be trusted.  Saul promised his oldest daughter to David, but his real intent was for the Philistines to kill him (18:17-19).  But when the time came for the marriage, Saul gave her to someone else.  Then he promised his second daughter to David to become a snare to him.  He made the dowry 100 foreskins of the Philistines, again intending to get rid of him (18:20-27).  He had his servants lie to David in sending him the message that he delighted in David and wanted him to marry his daughter (18:22).  Sauls send double messages.  They may pretend to love you, but they are really plotting to eliminate you.  Sauls do not keep promises even to their own families.  He promised Jonathan that he would not put David to death, but he again tried to pin David to a wall with a spear (19:4-10).  This illustrates the double messages.  It causes you to question your own sanity or theirs.

13.  He is paranoid.

The fear factor was so great that Saul was capable of murder.  Jonathan acknowledged this when he said, “my father is looking for you to kill you (19:2).”  Yet Saul calls David his enemy (18:29, 19:7).  Saul was the enemy of God’s anointed, but he really believed that God’s anointed was his enemy.  This leads to territorial preservation.  Saul will always conspire to neutralize or take out the one he considers to be a threat.  Every day Saul searched for David to kill him, but God did not give David into his hands (23:14).

14.  There is uproar and confusion around him.

Everyone around Saul walks on eggshells.  You cannot be sure where he stands or what kind of mood he might be in.  David hid in a field while Jonathan went home to check out Saul’s mood (20:5).  Sauls have to keep things stirred up.  They play the game of uproar.  They don’t have peace (14:52).  They are never satisfied, and there is no way to please them (16:14).

15.  He demands total loyalty, even when he is wrong.

Saul was upset and angry that his son loved David (20:30).  He demanded Jonathan’s total loyalty.  He saw it as disloyalty that Jonathan was a friend of David’s.  Sauls are very possessive and don’t want you to have other close friends.  They take any confrontation or disagreement as disloyalty.  They have the “all or not” thinking of a dysfunctional family.  They see everybody as all for me or all against me.  They react to honest differences of opinion with anger or the silent treatment.  They will not like you if you disagree with them.  As they force people to choose sides, this causes division and disunity (20:30, 22:17).  He could not let Jonathan love both him and David (29:30-31).  Although Saul demanded total loyalty, he betrayed both David and Jonathan and even God by his disobedience.  One evidence of this is found in 1 Samuel 22:18-21, as Saul kills 85 priests of the Lord, all anointed men of God.  Sauls dare to attack and destroy men of God."

My Thoughts:  I hope that anyone that reads this will realize that I am not looking for sympathy.  I am simply writing down what thoughts I have about the struggles I used to have or maybe currently face.  I have come to realize that there is freedom in admitting my faults and holding myself accountable for my sins.  Writing things down helps me think clearly but also in a way meditate on the Bible in a way that I can't do by just thinking.  My mind gets easily distracted with two youngs kids around.  So I often type these thing during naps or after the kids go to bed and post it later.  I don't want people think I am neglecting my duties.

I grew up in a home where anger outbursts were common, the silent treatment used and words were used to put down each other.  While maybe it was not as frequent as I remember, I do want to stress how much of an impact it had on my upbringing.  You can have very little outbursts or frequent ones and they will both affect your children.  I remember one time in particular that I remember my mom and dad fighting and she yelled at dad she was leaving him.  I went upstairs and hid and covered my ears scared from the yelling that was happening.  I'll never forget it.

Why do I tell you this?  Because our children are listening to us even when we forget they are there.  The way we treat each other as husband and wife will one day be the same way our children will treat others.  As a child, I never liked conflict and would never take sides when a division would occur.  I simply just wanted to be neutral or indifferent to any conflict that was occurring.  I only remember yelling at my mom one time growing up.  She should have spanked me hard for doing that but she didn't.  It wasn't until after I got married that those seeds sprouted under conflict and patterns learned or observed as a child were now being repeated in my own marriage.  It was hard for me to communicate during times of disagreement and when I did I felt like I was pulling my own arm off to admit my own fault, if I even did admit them.  I would feel like that little girl running from something I didn't understand.  I'm so glad God brought me to a good church where I have grown.  Though I am not perfect, I have changed.

I have always admired families that have taught their children well.  Taught them to cook, clean, sew, how to treat a future husband, discuss how men think and my role as a wife someday.  I feel like I have learned so much these last few years about life that I hope someday I can pass that on to my children.

Check-List Continued of The Saul Controlling Spirit

Continuation of The Controlling Spirit in the Pray Portions by Sylvia Gunter.

"6.  He is remorseful but does not truly repent.

Remorse is seen in Saul in 1 Samuel 15:30.  God took the kingdom from Saul and gave it to David because Saul disobeyed God.  He could have repented and cried out to God for mercy, and His kingdom would have been spared, but he did not.  Look at David—he committed murder and adultery, yet he deeply repented, and God called him a man after His own heart.  Saul could have recognized the anointing upon David and stepped down and let David be king.  He was determined to keep the kingdom, although God had removed His hand from him.  A Saul is always fiercely dedicated to territorial preservation.

7.  He controls by fear, intimidation, emotional manipulation, shame, put-downs, punishment, rejection, or failure.

Even Samuel, a mighty prophet of God, was scared of Saul (16:2).  David had to flee Saul, because Saul was going to kill him.  A controller hates God’s anointed.

8.  He uses people who make him look good.

David made Saul look good.  He killed Goliath and won victories.  He saved Israel from the Philistines, and Saul gave him a high position (18:5).  Saul liked David and used him as long as he made him look good and did not threaten or cross him, as long as he told him the things he wanted to hear (16:21).  A Saul is unable to love people, because he cannot trust.  So he uses people.  Saul used him, abused him, and discarded him after he was not useful.

9.  He has to be #1 in his desire for power, fame, prominence, and position.

He must win at all costs.  He only feels important giving orders.  He cannot celebrate success and exaltation of others (1 Samuel 18:7).  Saul was angry at the attention given to David.  He was galled that the women were singing that kind of song about David (18:8).  He was unholy, prideful, and intent on being #1.

10.  He is insecure, very fearful, cowardly, very jealous, and suspicious.

Saul’s inferiority and low self-esteem were revealed when he began to look at David with suspicion (18:9).  He was afraid of David because the Lord was with David but had left him (18:12).  Sauls are afraid of people who threaten them because they see the Lord in their lives.

It is important that we see our Sauls as wounded and in need of healing.  They have love-deficits, and basically they cannot give you what they don’t have.  How did they get that way?

*They share our common sin nature—there is tremendous ego, pride, and self in all of us.

*They were hurt and wounded in their family of origin.  They feel they must control their world so they won’t get hurt again.  Perceived self-preservation is very strong.

*They were trained that way—grew up in atmosphere of control, learned it at home.

*They carry a familial or familiar spirit—attaches to families and runs in bloodlines.  You don’t discuss it out.  You cast it out to break its power."

My thoughts:  I have read over this check list many times trying to see if I see myself in them.  While there are bits and pieces I see of myself and know that I need to deal with, there are some that are not part of me.  It's sad to know that someone who holds so much power over us can affect our life in such a drastic way and our view of our heavenly Father.  I have struggled for years of my own view of my heavenly Father and have struggled to know how to have that close an intimate relationship with him that I should have.  Over the last few years I have grown in knowing what my part is in developing that relationship with Him through Bible Studies, talks with other Godly women, and good Christian based books to learn how to cultivate my relationships with my own family. {I have a long way to go though!} 

What I have come to realize is that behavior is learned and allowed.  If care is not taken to cast out this controlling sin, it WILL affect and multiple rapidly within the family structure.  Seeds of this sin may not appear for a long time, but they are still there waiting for the day to sprout under the right conditions and wreck havoc on everyone in the family, especially your children.  Children just want to be loved and if they do not get it from their fathers they WILL look elsewhere to fill their need for love and admiration.  Just know it can be from places that are not a Godly influence on your children. 

20 Point Check-List-Have You Been Sauled?

The following is the continuation of The Saul Controlling Spirit of the Prayer Portions written by Sylvia Gunter.

"The characteristics or profile of a modern-day “Saul” controller can be laid out in a 20 point check-list.  If you have some of these tendencies, go before the Lord.  If you have most of them, you are a controller and that is not God’s way.  Repent and get help from a wise and seasoned brother or sister in the Lord who can help you.  If you have been “Sauled,” that also is not God’s way, and you need help for healing and release.

1.  He may be religious and may even have the word of the Lords at times.

Saul had been touched by God, but he did not have the personal intimacy with the Lord that David had.  When he was made king, he did not call for the ark nor call the nation Israel to rejoice before the Lord (I Sam 11:12-15).  There is not evidence that he was a man of prayer and worship.  He did not wait on God nor spend time alone with God.  He sought God personally only once when he was desperate (14:35).  Otherwise, he sought God only through Samuel, and eventually he could not hear God’s voice, because he had disobeyed God.  When his men were going out to battle and were scared, unlike David, he did not encourage them in who God is, because he did not know God intimately.

The Spirit came upon Saul in 1 Samuel 10, and thereafter he was touched by the Holy Spirit from time to time.  So, a person with Saul spirit can have the word of the lord at times (1Sam 19:23-24).  When they do, you think you are crazy or judgmental for seeing lying, deception, manipulation, and other sins in their lives.  They may speak powerfully in a meeting where the spirit of God is moving, but when they leave, they are back to their old selves.  When Saul got into the presence of Samuel or the prophets, and God’s spirit was moving, Saul was touched as well.  So the Spirit can move through a Saul from time to time.  But make no mistake: the Bible is very clear.  The Spirit of God departs from this leader (16:13-14).  He loses the anointing of God because the fullness of the Holy Spirit is given to those who obey God, who walk according to the Spirit and not the flesh.

2.  He will take matters into his own hands.

When his men began to scatter, Saul disobeyed Samuel’s instructions, which were God’s commands, and offered a religious reason for doing so.  “I was compelled” to offer the offerings.  Circumstances made me do it (1 Sam 13:8-13).  A Saul believes that the end justifies the means.  When confronted by Samuel, there was no sign of repentance.  Saul was not contrite and humble.  Outward use of power will eventually reveal their inner bankruptcy.

3.  He blames others for his own wrong actions.

Saul blamed his disobedience on others (1 Sam 13:8-13).  He had the audacity to blame Samuel.  God gave His opinion of Saul’s sin: you have acted foolishly, your kingdom will not endure, your sons will not be on the throne, because you did not keep the Lord’s command.  God went on to reveal the kind of man He was looking for, “a man after my own heart (13:14).”  Saul’s blaming others is really seen in 1 Samuel 15 in the matter of sparing the Amalekite king and the best sheep.

4.  He fears man more than God.

In 1 Samuel 15, the most telling picture of Saul emerges.  He clearly disobeyed in the matter of the king of Amalek and the sheep.  He was told to spare nothing (1 Sam 15:3).  Saul protested to Samuel that he had obeyed God (15:13).  When Samuel confronted him with his disobedience through the bleating sheep, Saul said, “They did it.  I obeyed, except for this one Amalekite (15:15, 20).”  The Amelekites in the Bible are a picture of the flesh.  Saul will spare what appears to benefit him of the flesh.  Saul did not recognize that partial obedience is total disobedience in God’s sight.  According to 2 Samuel 1:8 and 13, an Amalekite killed Saul.  What Saul spared of the flesh killed him.  The magnitude of his desire to please the flesh is seen in his people-pleasing, as he says to Samuel, “O.K., so I sinned, but honor me before the people (15:30).”  There was no public humbling and no repentance.

5.  He will be rebellious, stubborn, arrogant, and proud.

As Samuel confronts Saul, telling him that obedience is better than sacrifice, he says that root of the sin of rebellion is witchcraft, and the root of stubbornness is idolatry (15:22-23).  Witchcraft is control by any other means than the Spirit of God.  Anything that does not originate in the Spirit originates in the flesh.  Galations 5:20 confirms this, as it lists sorcery as a work of the flesh.  Desire to control others is a work of flesh which will always war against the Spirit.

How is stubbornness like idolatry?  Saul had to be right and his own rightness was an idol.  Image, popularity, or even religious status is an idol.  True authority is the authority of God humbly and righteously and obediently expressed in a man who is submitted to God first of all, in truth and faith to trust Him to work His purposes in all things.  Anything else is counterfeit spiritual authority.

Parenthetically, God regretted that He made Saul king, because “he has turned away from Me and has not carried out My instructions (15:11).”  Samuel genuinely grieved for Saul the rest of His days (15:35, 16:1).  You are not on praying ground for your controller until your heart is right.

The spirit of control out –of-control really begins in 1 Samuel 16.  It is an addiction to control that is characteristic of the compulsive/addictive personality.  Many leaders who had alcoholic fathers would never think of being an alcoholic, but they become a control-o-holic instead."

{Check-list to continue another day.}

Have You Been Sauled?

My mother sent this article on Saul that is very convicting.  My family has a history of having a controlling spirit that has been passed down from several generations.  This is the generation that must stop this sinful act.  I'll have to post this in several posts, but I know if you take the time to read it, you will be blessed.

This article is from the Prayer Portions by Sylvia Gunter and has been typed word for word and is in quotes.  I receive no credit for it.  It is not my own.

"The Saul Controlling Spirit

Thanks to Mary Lance Sisk of Charlotte, NC, for her excellent scriptural insight into the Saul spirit.  Blessings.

The controlling spirit personified in Saul has impacted everybody’s life.  It has violated many families personally, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes physically.  Almost everybody has either controlled or been controlled.

Why identify and deal with the Saul spirit?

The Saul spirit in a father is the worst enemy to a person’s fully relating to our heavenly Father.  Jesus claimed intimacy with His Father, calling Him Father 156 times in the book of John, the writer with the tenderest, most loving heart.  The Jews of the day could see God as creator, or lawgiver, or righteous judge, but Jesus addressed him intimately, as Abba, Papa-God, in loving relationship.  He taught us through the model prayer to address God as “Our Father.”  In fact, Jesus died to bring us near to the Father in blood relationship.  “I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No man comes to the Father, but by me (John 14:6).”  So Fatherhood is important to God.  The first recorded words of Jesus were “Don’t you know I have to be in my Father’s house, about my Father’s business?”  In His last words from the cross, He twice addressed God as Father.  We come to God as a little child climbing up into the lap of a loving Father for help, protection, calm, loving, assurance by His presence.

The Saul spirit in a father produces a distorted picture of God.  The human family is meant to reflect heavenly reality.  When it does not, the distorted picture of God learned thereby must be unlearned years later, so that God’s Father-heart can be imparted to people who are hurting, rejected, feeling abandoned, or condemned.  Yes, God is majestic and holy and has all dominion, and He is my Daddy, Papa-God, for fellowship, immediate access, guidance, security, inheritance, life, good gifts, provision, and so much more.

The Saul spirit stands in the way of revival, because it stands between you and a deep personal relationship with God.  Controllers want to dictate even to God.  They have a hard time getting out of the way and letting God be God.

The controlling spirit is a curse that is passed down from generation to generation.  If you were raised in a household with a father or mother who is dominating, you will end up with controlling tendencies yourself.  Furthermore, you will be drawn to people who have them because that feels normal.  That is the pattern you lived in as a child.  But you do not have to live like that.  Galations 5:1 says that Jesus died to set you free.  You do not have to remain under that yoke of bondage.

Ignorance of the controlling spirit is deadly for your children.  Being ignorant of the operation of this principle of control will make you vulnerable to deadly results.  God does not want the church ignorant.  Pastors, Christian leaders, and fathers ignore at their own peril the diagnosis of this Saul spirit of control.  All Saul’s sons were tragically destroyed, except for one crippled grandson named Mephibosheth.  Think of it:  destroyed or crippled!  I have seen these Saul personalities pick off worship leaders and pastors and cripple Christian ministries.

Jesus died so that we might enjoy freedom.  Instead of cleaning up the mess, why not become enlightened and obedient to deal with Saul in a strong and righteous way?  Why station an ambulance at the bottom of the cliff?  Why not build a guard rail at the top of the cliff?

As we look at the picture of Saul as presented in 1 Samuel, stop and pray for God to open your eyes to give you deep spiritual insight, understanding, and revelation.  Ask God to reveal to you the controlling tendencies in your life, and deal with your own controlling tendencies.  When God exposes a thing, He is ready and able to heal.  He comes with the anointing for deliverance.  When you deal with the sin in your own life, you can extend grace to others and know how to pray for them.

The prophet Samuel was old, and the people wanted a king like other nations.  He warned them what the king would do to them, but they did not heed his warning.  God gave them their request, and Samuel anointed Saul king at God’s direction.  Saul was the tallest and most handsome man in Israel.  His flesh was attractive and stood out head and shoulders above others.  People accepted him and made him king before the Lord at Gilgal.  After God anointed him, God warned Saul that his kingship and his kingdom depended on obeying him.

Saul was a valiant warrior (I Sam. 14:48).  God raised up an army around him.  The best men joined him.  God put the fear of the Lord on the nation Israel to follow Saul.  God gave him victories for the people of God over the Amorites and Philistines.  God gave him everything he needed to be a leader of God’s people.  He began well and had great success, and at first we do not see much of the spirit of control operating in Saul.  It is hard to see the spirit of control in a leader in the beginning.  Most of the time, if they are chosen by God, they start off right.  It takes time to recognize this spirit in another person.  It may take months or maybe years to see the great ego, drives, and desire for power or recognition."

{20 point check-list to follow in several different posts.}

Piece of Cupcake by Stephanie Schimke

My cousin started a business called Piece a Cake Cupcakes.  I so love a good cupcake!

Especially if it is chocolate! 

She makes her cupcakes from scratch and these were amazing!

The cake was light and fluffy and the icing was perfect! 

Not too sweet, but sweet enough that you want more!

So if you are in the Columbia, MO area and want to know more,

check her web page out at http://pieceacakecupcakes.wordpress.com/