Continuation of The Controlling Spirit in the Pray Portions by Sylvia Gunter.
"6. He is remorseful but does not truly repent.
Remorse is seen in Saul in 1 Samuel 15:30. God took the kingdom from Saul and gave it to David because Saul disobeyed God. He could have repented and cried out to God for mercy, and His kingdom would have been spared, but he did not. Look at David—he committed murder and adultery, yet he deeply repented, and God called him a man after His own heart. Saul could have recognized the anointing upon David and stepped down and let David be king. He was determined to keep the kingdom, although God had removed His hand from him. A Saul is always fiercely dedicated to territorial preservation.
7. He controls by fear, intimidation, emotional manipulation, shame, put-downs, punishment, rejection, or failure.
Even Samuel, a mighty prophet of God, was scared of Saul (16:2). David had to flee Saul, because Saul was going to kill him. A controller hates God’s anointed.
8. He uses people who make him look good.
David made Saul look good. He killed Goliath and won victories. He saved Israel from the Philistines, and Saul gave him a high position (18:5). Saul liked David and used him as long as he made him look good and did not threaten or cross him, as long as he told him the things he wanted to hear (16:21). A Saul is unable to love people, because he cannot trust. So he uses people. Saul used him, abused him, and discarded him after he was not useful.
9. He has to be #1 in his desire for power, fame, prominence, and position.
He must win at all costs. He only feels important giving orders. He cannot celebrate success and exaltation of others (1 Samuel 18:7). Saul was angry at the attention given to David. He was galled that the women were singing that kind of song about David (18:8). He was unholy, prideful, and intent on being #1.
10. He is insecure, very fearful, cowardly, very jealous, and suspicious.
Saul’s inferiority and low self-esteem were revealed when he began to look at David with suspicion (18:9). He was afraid of David because the Lord was with David but had left him (18:12). Sauls are afraid of people who threaten them because they see the Lord in their lives.
It is important that we see our Sauls as wounded and in need of healing. They have love-deficits, and basically they cannot give you what they don’t have. How did they get that way?
*They share our common sin nature—there is tremendous ego, pride, and self in all of us.
*They were hurt and wounded in their family of origin. They feel they must control their world so they won’t get hurt again. Perceived self-preservation is very strong.
*They were trained that way—grew up in atmosphere of control, learned it at home.
*They carry a familial or familiar spirit—attaches to families and runs in bloodlines. You don’t discuss it out. You cast it out to break its power."
My thoughts: I have read over this check list many times trying to see if I see myself in them. While there are bits and pieces I see of myself and know that I need to deal with, there are some that are not part of me. It's sad to know that someone who holds so much power over us can affect our life in such a drastic way and our view of our heavenly Father. I have struggled for years of my own view of my heavenly Father and have struggled to know how to have that close an intimate relationship with him that I should have. Over the last few years I have grown in knowing what my part is in developing that relationship with Him through Bible Studies, talks with other Godly women, and good Christian based books to learn how to cultivate my relationships with my own family. {I have a long way to go though!}
What I have come to realize is that behavior is learned and allowed. If care is not taken to cast out this controlling sin, it WILL affect and multiple rapidly within the family structure. Seeds of this sin may not appear for a long time, but they are still there waiting for the day to sprout under the right conditions and wreck havoc on everyone in the family, especially your children. Children just want to be loved and if they do not get it from their fathers they WILL look elsewhere to fill their need for love and admiration. Just know it can be from places that are not a Godly influence on your children.
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